From frustration to non-duality

You might know the saying: “practice what you preach”.  In other words: do what you say.

If you know me, or if you have worked with me for a while, you know that I often talk about duality.
It is a law of nature, after all.

What is duality?

We often talk about the shift from 3D to 4D to 5D and how letting go of duality plays an important role in this transition. We are no longer just good or bad, or just happy or gloomy, or even just male or female.

When we talk about duality during coaching sessions, and in the online training, we are truly enthusiastic about this and it resonates within us.

The most important thing, however, is to apply this way of thinking in daily life.

I will give you an example.
A new client recently started our online training program. She is very enthusiastic and could not wait to get started. That is when a problem with the technology arose. The Zoom call that we were in together got stuck and then froze all together – which is very annoying, of course. The client then tried to reach us via other channels. She indicated that she was disappointed and that she believed strongly that a proper technological setup is a basic condition for her to be able to participate effectively in our program.
Our back-office team immediately took action to restore contact.

You can imagine that this was a stressful situation for both parties. Duality was just around the corner. Good or bad. It does work or it does not work. Patience or impatience. Stress or calm. Satisfied or unsatisfied. And so on.

Non-dual thinking

I noticed that I kept thinking in a non-dual way. I did not judge – not the client, not the technology, and not about my team.

I have been working in a non-dual way for as long as I can remember. That is to say: I have always tried to look at both sides of a story.

You may have heard of the “polder model”. In my opinion, the polder model is fairly non-dual in its essence. It always looks at multiple sides of a problem and makes effective use of negotiation to arrive at a solution that works for all parties involved.

That also applied in this situation. I wanted to ask everyone involved: have you thought of the other side? I understand that there is frustration, but at the same time I wondered: have you thought about what this is like for the other party?

I wanted to say to the client: I think it is great that you are so enthusiastic, committed, and motivated to get started.

I wanted to say to my client and my team: this is all about trust. For my client: trust that this will be solved and that we will do everything to make sure you can access and benefit from the training. For my team: trust that everything might not always go as planned, but that it does not mean that you will be fired, because making mistakes is human.

What I also realized is that we can learn a great deal from a situation like this and that it can help us to improve and optimize our processes even more.

Do you recognize this way of thinking? Or do you feel like you are not quite there yet?

Do you want to find out more about duality or practice it more actively? Please participate in my free webinar.



Erik Verhagen

Hello I am Erik! Trainer, coach and adviser for spiritual entrepreneurs who already have or want to start an awareness practice. I help them make strategic steps that enable them to grow and make a difference for their clients.